The end?
by Otaconcon
Summary: A few alternate endings for some of my favourite games. Leave a comment if you can think of any more.
1. Resident Evil 4

Leon S Kennedy ran to the railings and looked over as a helicopter rose up with Ada Wong inside. "Ada!"

Ada waved the Las Plagas sample she had in her hand, "don't worry, I'll take good care of it!" With her other hand she activated a countdown which appeared at the top of the screen above Leon's head.

Leon looked up as it counted down from 3 minutes, "what the fuck?"

"Better get off the island fast!" She threw some keys to him but they fell over the edge of the platform. "Shit. Oh well, sucks to be you!" The helicopter flew away as Leon ran to the elevator.

Leon got out of the elevator and ran to Ashley who beamed at him, "hey Leon. I've been spending some quality time with the Merchant here and we have a lot in common."

Leon put out his hand, "that's nice but – shut up! The island is going to blow up and way need a way off now!"

The Merchant smiled as he pulled back a covering to a secret passage, "follow me stranger…and Ashley."

The 3 arrived on the beach and the Merchant pulled back yet another covering to reveal a…strange choice of vehicle.

The island exploded as Leon, Ashley and the Merchant escaped in…a swan shaped peddle-boat. Leon stopped to take a breath, "nice escape but can we swap over at some point? My legs are killing me!"

The Merchant sat in the back of the boat with an arm around Ashley, "keep peddling stranger."

"For the last fucking time my name is Leon!" He groaned, "no amount of pesetas is worth this!"

Meanwhile Ashley gazed into the Merchant's eyes, "thanks for helping us to escape. How about you come back to my place and we do some…overtime?"

The Merchant laughed, "heh, heh, heh. Thank you!"

Leon continued bad-mouthing the Merchant until his radio went off. The writer, Scottacon, appeared on the screen. "Finally the line's jack free…I know because it says so here in my script."

Leon smiled, "hey Scottacon, no glasses. How about you give me your number when we get back?"

Scottacon paused, "…okay I'll write it down for you."

Leon grinned to himself, "story of my life."


	2. Metal Gear Solid 3

Snake and EVA stopped and looked at the sun shining on the lake. EVA smiled, "we made it."

Naked Snake nodded, "yeah. Now comes the hard part."

"You're going after the Boss aren't you? Be careful Snake. She's waiting for you over…" EVA pointed to a field full of flowers. The Boss was nowhere to be seen, "what the fuck?! Where is she?!"

The Boss appeared behind her and stuck the barrel of her Patriot into EVA's neck. Snake drew his pistol and knife, "let her go Boss! This is between you and me."

The Boss sighed, "you never were that bright Snake. I never defected – this is my mission. Look here." The Boss held out a profile about EVA and Snake looked it over.

"A Chinese spy? She can't be!"

The Boss threw the profile at him, "don't fight your feelings! You know this to be true."

Snake cocked his head and thought long and hard. Eventually he answered, "Boss – I've known you most of my life…of course you're telling the truth!"

EVA flipped the Boss over her shoulder and started to run, "you're a fool Snake! We will have the Philosopher's Legacy!" Snake picked up the Boss' Patriot and shot EVA through the head. She bled briefly from the wound then fell to the ground in an expanding puddle of red.

"Sorry Boss," Snake said as he helped her up.

"It's okay Snake…we all make mistakes," she pulled out the Philosopher's Legacy, "Now let's get this back to America."

As the plane was leaving the lake, a familiar figure flew up next to them on a hover platform. "It's not over yet!"

Snake and the Boss looked out the side window, "Ocelot!"

The hatch opened and Ocelot jumped inside, "glad I caught you before I left. Snake I believe you already know my father." The Sorrow drifted in behind Ocelot and waved at Snake.

"The Sorrow is your father? How can that be? And how can I see him? And who the hell is that?" Snake pointed to the far wall.

Scottacon looked up; "I'm the author. Now get back to work!"

The Boss got and went over and stood with the others, "…if the Sorrow is your father…then that means…"

Ocelot finished her sentence, "yes, I am your son." The Boss stumbled over to him and flung her arms around him. "I thought I'd never meet you…" Ocelot started, "…who's flying the plane?"

Later at the awards ceremony, Snake and the Boss opened the double doors in front of them and stepped into the room where everyone was waiting. Major Zero, Sigint, Para-medic, Ocelot, The Sorrow, the DCI and others applauded them as they both went up the few steps and shook hands with the President. The President was handed two medals by his assistant, "you two are true Patriots. Boss, you have completed the mission we thought was impossible even for you. I now award you the title of Big Boss. Snake, you also played a vital part in the success of operation Snake-Eater. For that I award you the title of Boss."

They both shook hands with the President and turned to join the rest of the group. The new Boss was congratulated by his support team and Big Boss stood with her family. Suddenly Boss realised something, "wait a minute! Shouldn't this change make a time paradox and therefore result in a 'Game Over'?"

Big Boss' son, Adam, stepped forward and shook his head, "not necessarily John. My friend Scottacon will explain."

Scottacon wheeled a large chalkboard into the room and started scribbling on it, "this line here is history as Hideo Kojima dictated. In his story the Boss died and John became Big Boss." Scottacon drew another line leading off from the first, "however this line here separates from his story at this point here. This is the point where EVA was killed. My story carries along in parallel to the other story so you didn't actually change the future!"

The new Boss woke up and applauded, "yes very good. I…really understood that. Now let's party!"


	3. Resident Evil

Thanks to ALICE IT'S RAINing for the idea.

The 4 remaining S.T.A.R.S ran through the door and emerged at a heliport. Rebecca tried the radio again while the others radio. Brad had been calling every 30 minutes or so but they couldn't be sure if their replies had got through.

Suddenly the ground rumbled and they struggled to remain standing up. Barry searched for the right words, "…shit!" Quite.

The others looked around for the source of the tremors and stopped as the tyrant burst from the ground projecting shards everywhere. Unfortunately one hit Chris in the eye, "oh fuck me! Get this shit outta my eye." Rebecca took him aside leaving Jill and Barry to take on the tyrant.

The tyrant continued to walk towards them even as the bullets slammed into it. It seemed unfazed by their futile attack and was almost on them when they heard a cry from above them.

"Hey guys its Brad! Hold on I'm going to throw you the rocket launcher!"

Barry and Jill continued to shoot at the tyrant for several minutes but there was still nothing. Barry yelled, "throw us the launcher you dumbass!"

Brad tried (and failed) to be apologetic, "well I'm sorry Barry but the program dictates I fly around in circles shouting for a while."

Jill started shooting at the chopper, "now Brad! Or death by helicopter crash it shall be!"

Brad sighed, "bitch."

The rocket launcher case fell through the air and eventually came to land on the helipad…with Jill dead underneath it. Everybody (including the tyrant) stopped suddenly, "dayamn!"

Chris shook his fist at the chopper angrily, "Brad you dumbass! She's supposed to be in number 3 and Umbrella Chronicles!"

Rebecca continued fixing up his eyes, "poor guys delirious from the pain."

Barry continued firing his Colt Python at the tyrant for a while until he hit Brad by 'accident.' The chopper crashed down on top of the tyrant and killed on impact. They jumped inside the downed helicopter and Barry shouted, "take off now Brad!"

Rebecca looked in the cockpit and saw what was left of Brad after being hit in the head by a .357 Magnum round. She turned to the others, "he ain't taking off anytime soon."

Meanwhile underground in the secret labs the countdown reached '0.' The mansion facilities and grounds were obliterated by the blast.

Several seconds later the words 'Game Over' appeared on screen and Jill Valentine shouted angrily at the others, "idiots!"


	4. RE3: Nemesis

Jill stepped over the puddle of 'ick' that was once the Nemesis and ran with Carlos Oliveira to the rear exit of the building. They flung open the doors and hurried to the helipad – they only had a few precious minutes before the city was obliterated!

Jill climbed up the ladder to the platform first and kicked Carlos when she realised he was looking up her skirt. "Oh! You pervert!" Both of them reached the top and ran like bloody hell across the tarmac.

They leaped inside the chopper and Carlos slammed the door behind them, "let's get out of here shall we, dear?"

Jill gave him a sideways glance feeling slightly confused but decided to ignore him. She leaned over to the pilot as the helicopter took off, "hey thanks for coming for us…what the fuck!" Jill was gobsmacked by the man looking back at her.

"Please sit down. The missiles will hit soon and there will be more than just turbulence!"

"But Brad…you're dead!"

Carlos stood up, "I say, whatever are you talking about?"

Jill spun on her heel, "And Carlos! What happened to your sexy accent?"

"I don't understand, I always speak in this particular fashion."

Brad tapped Jill, "by the way – have you met my friend?"

The Nemesis clung to the cockpit of the chopper and Jill fell over backwards. "Holy shit! Wait! We just killed him?"

Jill's radio vibrated and she put it her ear still stunned, "um…hello?"

"Snake, you defeated Psycho Mantis! I knew you could do it!"

Jill flung the radio out of the cabin, "what in the name of crap is going on here!"

Wesker appeared next to her, "calm down Jill! There's no gremlin on the side of this plane!"

Jill held her head awkwardly, "this is madness!"

"Madness?" Leonidas stood on the passenger seat next to Brad, "this…is…SPARTA!" He kicked Brad's head into the wall.

Jill got to her feet and shook Brad violently, "Brad? Brad! Wake up you useless twat!"

The chopper plummeted to the ground and was caught in the fiery destruction of the city.

Colonel Campbell shouted to Jill (somehow), "Jill! You've created a time paradox! Don't go changing the future!"

"Shut up!!!"


	5. RE: Code Veronica X

Thanks to KingCobra582 for the idea.

Chris leaped down the stairs as the Antarctic base began to blow up. He figured he had just enough time to escape with Claire before the place was obliterated. However someone else had different plans. "Wesker!"

Former S.T.A.R.S captain Albert Wesker had his arm tight around Claire's neck and was dragging her away from the elevator. "Stay back Chris. You know I wouldn't hesitate to kill her!"

"Bastard!" Chris shouted as Wesker pulled her down the corridor. Chris followed at a distance, not wanting to give him a reason.

He stopped at a submarine pen next to his escape vehicle. Chris came round the corner and Wesker pushed Claire towards him. "Let's settle this man to man shall we?"

"Go Claire, get to the hangar. Don't worry I'll catch up."

She was starting to leave when she said over her shoulder, "you have to stop him. He's got Steve!"

Wesker slapped his forehead, "oh crap! I knew there was something I forgot! All the more reason to beat the shit out of you Chris!"

"Oh yeah? Well come get some!"

They swung at each other and scored the occasional hit. However with his superior strength and speed Wesker was winning by far. "Give it up Chris. You're no match for me!" Chris slid across the floor and hit the wall. He looked up and saw a crane above Wesker holding several girders.

Meanwhile Claire got out of the lift and looked around the hangar. The harrier seemed the fastest escape vehicle…but Chris had crashed it through a wall getting to the base. She decided on the helicopter and got inside, "come on Chris. You have to make it!"

However Chris was still getting his ass kicked. Wesker pounded him in the ribs and threw him across the ground into the crane. Seizing the opportunity he stabbed at the controls and released the metal girders. "Take this!" Needless to say they crushed Wesker…but barely slowed him down. He got up, removed his broken sunglasses and continued whaling on Chris.

Claire sat in the cockpit of the chopper and filed her nails. She sighed.

Chris swung at Wesker but instead got his arm twisted and was picked up by the throat. Wesker's grip grew tighter and just before Chris' head exploded he kicked Wesker…right in the nads! Wesker dropped him and stumbled backwards, "arggh! Bastard!"

Claire pulled out her Game Boy Colour and started playing Resident Evil Gaiden. 2 minutes later she threw it at the back wall of the chopper, "crappy!"

Chris and his nemesis continued to fight in the sub pen. Exhausted they stopped for breath. "Damn," Wesker remarked, "this place is taking a LONG time to blow up!" As if on cue an explosion rocked the area. Half of Wesker's face was blown off and flaming debris separated the two arch-enemies. Wesker pointed in Chris' general direction (he did only have one eye) and shouted, "I'll get you Redfield…and your little sister too!" They parted ways and hurried to their escape vehicles.

Chris got out of the elevator calmly and walked casually to the chopper. Claire sat in the passenger seat and hugged him as he got in, "you made it!"

"Hey, I always keep my promises. Now, where are the keys?" He looked down and saw the key had been snapped off in the lock. "Okay…plan B." As Chris hot-wired the helicopter Claire continued playing Gaiden with her duct-taped-together Game Boy. However a boy's voice broke the relative silence as Steve stumbled out of the elevator. There were sparks and the helicopter blades started spinning.

"Hey guys!" Steve waved at the chopper, "I'm OK!" Just then the elevator exploded sending Steve flying through the air…into the chopper blades.

Claire stuck her head out the window, "DAYAMN!" Wet pieces of Steve landed everywhere. 

Chris sighed as the chopper started to take off. "How ironic…killed by the vehicle he intended to escape in."

The helicopter flew away from the base as it finally exploded. Claire turned to her brother, "what now Chris? Are we gonna take down Umbrella in an on-rails shoot em up?"

Chris snorted, "what now? I need to change my clothes! I've been sweating more than Alfred in the lingerie department!" They laughed as they flew off into the sunset.


	6. Resident Evil 2

The 3 survivors, Leon, Claire and Sherry, walked away from the smouldering train wreck slowly. The sun had risen and shone through the young cop's fringe to reveal a weary face. Claire turned to him, "is it over?"

Leon sighed, "I have a feeling the battle's just begun!"

Claire shook her head. "Uh-uh. No way you just said that. That is so corny!"

Sherry looked up at Officer Kennedy, "she's got a point."

Leon was surprised to hear this after what had just happened. "Okay…the battle is won…but the war is far from over!"

Sherry stuck out her tongue, "pfft! Laaaaame!"

"It's up to us to take down Umbrella!"

"Been done. Well, not yet."

"We may have pwned some noobs – but there's plenty more we they come from?"

"What the hell did you just say?"

"We'll destroy Umbrella if it's the last we do? I have a bad feeling about this? It doesn't make a bit of difference (the balls – they're inert)?"

Claire mock-coughed, "no, no and no!"

Leon finally gave up, "oh fuck off! What do you suggest!"

Claire scratched her head, "well…I was thinking something along the lines of…IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!"

HUNK, Ada, William Birkin and Ben Bertolucci jumped out of nowhere and everybody danced.

Everyone except Leon. He stood apart from the others and shook his head, "all this on my first day? Yippee-kay-yay futhermucker!"

End of show please leave by the nearest exit. Make sure not to disturb the writer on your way out as he is working on a new chapter much better than this one. Honest!


	7. Resident Evil 0

Idea: ALICE IT'S RAINing Writer: me Reader: you

Rebecca Chambers and Billy Coen stopped at the top of the hill and looked down at the Spencer Mansion. It looked safe enough in this light. But there was still the matter of what to do with Billy.

Rebecca looked him in the eye, "I know what I have to do." There was a long, tense moment. She reached and pulled at the dog tags around his neck. However the chain was particularly strong and she only succeeded in pulling his head into her shoulder - quite hard.

"Ow."

"Sorry. Okay, what about…I take you to the other S.T.A.R.S and tell them the truth – you weren't really part of what happened."

Billy was doubtful, "do you think they'll believe us?"

"I could just take your dog tags to them and tell them I shot you when you tried to escape?"

"Nah, the first one's fine."

They walked down the hill to the estate, Billy's arm around her. "Hey, 'becca."

"Yeah?"

"Did you know leeches have 34 segments?"

"Eww. Change the subject Billy."

"Some leeches have eight pairs of eyes."

"Okay that's enough."

"A leech can store blood up to five times it's body size."

"I said enough Billy!"

"They secrete an anticoagulant so wounds bleed more."

"I'm warning you!"

"Leeches also…"

Rebecca pulled out her pistol and shot Billy. "Don't say I didn't fucking warn you! And I'm taking your dog tags too!"

She put the tags around her own neck and strode off on her own towards the mansion, "I swear to God I will **never **understand men! I mean honestly! You tell em one thing and they just ignore you but when they say something – NO! I am sick of being bossed around I mean it's ridiculous! Of all the stupid… "

She continued for quite some time… 


	8. Metal Gear Solid 2

There was a heated battle on top of Arsenal Gear. Liquid Ocelot fired every missile Ray had to offer but nothing could hit the small group of fighters. Helena Dolph Jackson (codenamed Fortune) created an invisible shield around everyone sending the various bombs flying off in random directions. One such missile was deflected directly at Metal Gear RAY.

Ocelot leapt from the cockpit as RAY exploded, "damn you all!" he said in Liquid's voice. He landed on both feet and equipped his revolvers. "Ha! I don't need that stupid machine to kill you, brothers!" He flew through the air firing wildly at the two clone sons.

Raiden stayed back as Solidus and Snake shielded themselves with HF blades. They cut through the air stopping any incoming bullets. Snake began to pant heavily, "we can't keep this up forever!"

Solidus shouted back, "any bright ideas?"

Snake paused, "we need a distraction…"

As per Snake's orders, Raiden climbed up on the wreckage of RAY. "Hey Liquid!"

Liquid Ocelot turned to face him, "hmm?"

"You're a big douchebag and you dress like it's the Cold War!"

An enraged Liquid Ocelot began firing upon him as the two Snakes crept up on him. "Raagh!" Solidus kicked him and Snake slashed down on his arm. A single action army skidded across the deck with an arm still attached.

"Foolish brother! That was Ocelot's arm!" Liquid shot Solidus in the chest several times and grabbed Snake by the neck. "That's two arms you've taken from my host now! I think it's time I repay the favour!"

Raiden climbed down from RAY in time to see Snake's arms drop to the ground, "SNAKE!!" He picked up Solidus' blade and charged towards Liquid. Liquid dropped Snake and turned just as Raiden swept through him, the blade severing his only arm and slashing through his torso.

Several months later at a veteran's nursing home in America, Solid Snake sat in silence in a worn armchair. He looked up as several familiar faces entered the room, "Otacon? Meryl? Roy?" The three friends smiled as he put down his book entitled 'Viagra - medicine for snakes.'

"How you doin' buddy?" Otcaon asked.

"What?" Snake turned up his hearing aid, "me? I'm fine thanks."

Roy chuckled, "I hope I look as good as you when I'm your age."

Snake growled, "Roy, I'm only….never mind."

Meryl presented him with a bag, "some rations and the magazines you asked for."

Snake dug in and pulled out a copy of 'Metal Gear Monthly' with his right arm. "Ha!" it said. "I've been waiting for this, brother!"

Snake's other hand spun a revolver on it's index finger, "will you shut up already!"

Everyone laughed as the arms continued to feud.


End file.
